Well, some would suggest that you go and knock on your neighbors' door at 4 a.m., and tell them how much you enjoyed the music from the night before. That would be poetic justice. Except that when you do something like that, you're only making your neighbor angry, too. Knocking on his door the same night that your sleep was disturbed you're likely to do it in a very irritable state and start a whole round of issues that can last for months or years to come. Why do that? And forget the condo president. What will he or she do aside from be angry with you?

So, what's to be done?

Wait.

Yes, just wait. Bide your time, and approach your neighbor the following day when you aren't quite as irate. Think about it. ADD presents special issues for us, and one thing is the emotional roller coaster. We can't help it. When something displeases us, we can blow up like a Saturn rocket. ADD can worsen an already bad situation. So, by stepping off and waiting until you're on flat ground again, you can save yourself a lot of aggravation.

Approaching the person you're angry with, using a bit of humor also helps. For example, you go to your neighbor the next day and say, "Great music last night. Except for one small problem... Your stereo is above my bed," and smile. Your neighbor may not even have realized that he inconvenienced you, and will probably apologize because you went about telling him in a nice way. Otherwise, he's just a jerk, and you'll never be able to solve the difference. But you have a chance. When you run to knock on someone's door fuming with anger, the chances are slim and none that you'll come away looking anything but over emotional and stupid. Not only that, but you'll evoke a defensive attitude in your neighbor that may cause a permanent rift. You don't want that when it comes to neighbors. You have to live with them for a long time.

Try waiting until you're feeling less angry and until a reasonable time to approach any issues that make you ADD angry. The last thing you want to look like is a fuming nut. Being on an emotional crusade solves only to make you fell worse in the long run. If you have ADD, you already have enough to deal with. Step back. Take a few deep breaths, and solve problems in a rational manner. You'll feel better for it.

The issue isn't with the job; it's with you. When you have ADD, you're reluctant to try new things because the old routines are comfortable. You may not like them, but there they are. You don't have to worry whether you'll fit in with a new group of people. You don't have to worry about collecting a paycheck, and you don't have to learn anything new, either. So, you stagnate. And you don't even get along with your boss. He doesn't understand ADD and it's a constant struggle. Do you really want to go on living your life that way?

You don't have to. If you want to change your life, you have to take the first step forward, and that should be finding out what kind of job or work you really would love. Think about what makes you happy. What do you like doing, even if other people might not consider it a job? What are some of your hobbies that you might make a home business from? Think hard about what you enjoy, but don't stop there.

Your next step should be doing some research on the field you have chosen. What's the annual expected income? Will it be enough? Go over to Parade.Salary.com and see what you should be able to earn or another site that can help you with this. See if the pay scale is enough to cover your expenses. Then, find out what the demand is for someone in the job you're considering. For example, if you're thinking about real estate, in November 2007, it's definitely not the place to be. However, if you're thinking about security or Internet jobs, you might be on the right path. You'll just have to try. You could get into a new situation and find that you're ADD bored. If that happens, you'll have to try something else, so don't give up your day job just yet. Try new things in your spare time, and see how well they work for you.

The whole idea is to find a job that you can live with. Because you're ADD, you're a great problem solver and you can see the big picture of things. You're also creative and enjoy working on what you love to the exclusion of all else. But whatever it is that turns you on, that's what you should be doing. There are many ADD-friendly jobs out there, but you may not find them in the newspaper. Sometimes, you just have to create them yourself. Don't be pigeon-holed. Soar like an eagle and put your ADD talents to work doing something you love. Chances are, you won't be disappointed.

Worrying isn't good for your health because it can be extremely stressful when taken to extremes. Not only that, but worry is completely non-productive. When you worry, you continue to think about some issue continually, but it doesn't take you closer to solving a problem. But another side of worry is worry about things we have no control over. For example, if your son or daughter is fifteen minutes late coming home from a date, you might worry. It's probably impossible to go out and find him or her, and if you did, it wouldn't be the rational thing to do. And yet, we worry anyway.

The funny thing is that worry can become a problem in and of itself because continual anxiety and fear can have negative effects on your body, as well as your mind. Worry can cause physical problems such as an headaches, stomach trouble, and muscle tension. And if you think you have ADD distractions on a normal day, try worrying. Your distraction quotient will be off the roof.

But if your worrying is so bad that it's interfering with your daily life, you could have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) as well as ADD. If you do, you'll have noticed six months or more of extreme worry, that you just can't shake, even when your worry is unfounded. You may have trouble relaxing and falling or staying asleep. And you may have physical symptoms that accompany the worry, which can come in many forms. GAD isn't limited to adults, either. It can actually start in childhood.

If your symptoms are this severe, you need medical attention or counseling, so find a professional to help you. If you're just the normal worrier, then seek out a friend who can help you to ground yourself in reality. Explain the whole situation and why you're worrying to someone you trust, and get them to point out why your thinking is flawed. When you have some objective clarity on the situation, you may be able to stop the useless worry and take action on the issues that you can control.

ADD can present many problems that have nothing to do with ADD at all. Addiction, depression, and worry are some of them. When you start to worry, try giving yourself an autosuggestion to quit before you get wrapped up in elaborate fantasies of failure. Instead, turn your thinking to the positive aspects of the situation and what you can control, and don't let worry stop you from taking action on the elements you can handle. You'll be a much happier person.

So, what happens when you miss something vital at a meeting and you're asked a question in the middle of your zone-out period? You step up to the plate and give an answer that's totally off the wall. Or, maybe you miss a vital piece of a project that you're put in charge of completing and you do it wrong. Or, you miss something in math that makes all the difference in the equation. Right? I mean, zoning out can cause problems.

People in the group will just give you blank stares when you come out with an off-the-wall comment or you could flunk your math quiz because you didn't get that one vital bit of information. Yet, here's the thing--you don't even know you missed the information. You catch about half a conversation and the rest of your attention is directed away by ADD. You just don't know what you missed, and it can be very frustrating.

But here's the thing... Don't take it out on yourself. First, it's not your fault. Second, if you take preemptive steps, you can help to insure that this won't happen in the future.

The first thing is to always, always, always take notes. Write everything down in short bursts. If you get too detailed, your brain could focus more on the note than the speaker. Don't allow that. Just jot down a word or two that will jog your memory when you refer back to your notes later.

Second, always ask for clarification. If you're assigned a project, ask if you can have written action steps, or ask someone to tell you what they are while you write them down. Make sure that every bit of the project you're asked to undertake is clear to you before moving forward.

And if you're caught in a meeting like a deer in the headlights, all you can do is ask for the question to be repeated first, so you can gather some thoughts, and then, answer the best way you know how. It may not be the right answer, but your creativity may bring something new to the table. It's the best you can hope for, but don't take it out on yourself when you get those blank stares. Don't feel stupid or embarrassed. Realize that it's ADD doing this to you and that you won't always be on top of every game.

ADD can cause issues at work, in school, or in social situations when we just zone out in the middle of a conversation. You can't help that. But, you can take steps to help insure that these situations won't come up as often. Sometimes, your ADD creativity can help you through, and it will sometimes make up for the zoning out part of ADD. Just use your strengths to the best of your ability and forget the rest. This kind of thing doesn't make you dumb or a bad person. In fact, most of the time, it's just not that important. Never let stuff like this get you down.

1) ADD is a lack of self-control and willpower

This is clearly untrue. Scientists have shown in case studies that lower levels of dopamine in the brain may cause some of these issues. (See Psychiatric News, Vol. 26, No. 6, p. 35, "Dopamine Role in ADHD May Explain Drug's Efficacy.") Though the exact cause of ADD hasn't been found, there are definite differences between the brains of ADD and linear-thinking people.

2) Everyone has ADD symptoms to one degree or another

It's true that people can have symptoms of attention deficit in times of stress. Or, they may have tendencies toward the disorder, but only people who have had symptoms for 6 months or more that make daily life difficult have true ADD.

3) People with attention deficit don't have additional problems like depression, anxiety, or addiction.

ADD people are highly inclined to have other issues. They may fall deeper into depression, for example, because they see themselves as failures at life. This is a myth in itself. ADD people are probably highly intelligent, very creative and are great problem solvers. They have many strengths that need to be enhanced, rather than trying to fit their square peg of a mind into the round hole of linear-thinking life. ADD people see the big picture and often do or say things that linear-thinking people find highly unusual. Who's to say which side is right or wrong? Some say that attention deficit is the next evolution of the human brain and that everyone else just needs to catch up.

4) If you didn't have ADD as a child, you can't possibly have it as an adult:

In reality, this statement is true. But just because you weren't diagnosed with attention deficit as a child, doesn't mean that you don't still have ADD. Perhaps you had trouble concentrating in school, or were always chastised as the kid who just wouldn't behave and sit still. But if you're finding symptoms of attention deficit in your adult life, chances are you were ADD as a child only you didn't know it. It wasn't until the 1980s when the medical community became more aware, and began to identify and treat the disorder more often.

Whatever myths you're hearing, attention deficit is real. It's not a made-up disease to allow people to be lazy or kids to misbehave. It has to do with how ADD brains and linear brains are wired differently. Never let anyone tell you that there's something wrong with you for thinking that you have attention deficit. You may well have it and not know that 's what's causing your trouble in the adult world. If you suspect that ADD might be an issue, take a preliminary test, such as the one offered at InstantADDSuccess.com and if that test comes out positive, then learn more about attention deficit. When you know more about what's wrong, you may be able to take steps to put things back in line. You'll never be linear, but with some very important ADD-friendly systems, you will be able to function better in a linear world.

First, set up an ADD-friendly schedule. You can plan things out ahead of time and set alarms to make sure you do them. Microsoft Outlook is a great way to stay organized. You can set up recurring chores, like doing laundry, paying bills, and cleaning the refrigerator. Each task comes with it's own alarm that will pop-up on your computer when you need to get something done. This only works, though, if you're working on computer every day. Plus, Outlook isn't the only program that works like this. You might find other planning software that works better, or if you'd prefer, just keep a desk pad calendar on your desk and write in the things you need to do and when. When something is sitting right in front of you, it's hard to ignore, but you may still need to set alarms to remind of things that are important.

If you aren't at a desk or in front of a computer, buy a big white board calendar that you can erase and write into whenever you want. Set up recurring obligations, like taking meds, getting groceries, or buying gas for your car, and put the white board somewhere that you can't miss it. Every morning, go to the calendar and see what's planned for the day. Then, in the evening, go back to the calendar and be sure that you've accomplished the goals you set for yourself. If there's time, take care of unfinished business. If not, transfer your chore over to the next day and if you have to, set an alarm on your watch, your cell phone, or via some other method to get this done.

These ADD systems will work best if you don't overtax yourself. If you only have to work on three very specific tasks every day, you'll make the needed progress. However, if you set up 10 tasks for yourself in a day, the chances of being able to complete so much are slim. Making things too difficult for yourself will only serve to make you feel bad because you haven't gotten the things you wanted to do completed. Not only that, but they'll begin to pile up, and then, the whole system will break down.

If you can, start with just one or two main tasks each day, and as you become more used to referring back to Outlook, another management planner, or your white board, you'll make it routine. Then, start adding tasks, but no more than five. When you go beyond that, your ADD boredom threshold will be crossed and you'll never make the system work again. You'll be putting up your own wall. Don't do that to yourself! Take some time to get used to the system and then, keep it simple. It can mean the difference between ADD success and ADD failure.

In that instance, the father can at least understand his son or daughter's behaviors because he is much the same, but that doesn't mean his parenting skills will be spot on. People tend to parent the way they were parented themselves, and since ADD wasn't as recognized as it is today, the issues may have been considered behavioral rather than medical and as children, these men may have been dealt with harshly for actions they weren't able to control. Whatever the circumstance, dealing with behaviors associated with attention deficit can be an exercise in patience.

One of the first steps is to work at understanding. When a son or daughter just zones out and doesn't pay attention to the things they're told, or with things going on around him or her, a non-ADD dad's first reaction is perhaps to look at the child and shout, "Pay attention," not realizing that the child can't do that, at least not for long. This type of fatherly reaction only serves to make the child lose self esteem. Rather than chastise your ADD child for behaviors he or she can't control, concentrate more on rewarding them for positive behaviors within their ADD ability level.

For example, if you tell your young son to go and get the car keys for you and you wait five minutes and the child still hasn't returned or has returned without the keys, realize that they were distracted by ADD and forgot. So, rather than point out your son's failure to follow through, go back with him and retrieve the keys together. Allow him to physically pick up they keys and to put them into your hand. Then give them a small pat on the back. It will give them a sense of completion and you'll have helped to reinforce the positive rather than to have compounded the negative behavior.

Actions like this allow you to help your ADD child with self-discipline, as well. If you said, "Oh, never mind," and just went and got the keys yourself, nothing would have been accomplished, except providing negative feedback for behavior that you want to resolve. Yet, it's sometimes hard to maintain patience, especially if you're late for work. But you have to realize that children with ADD need extra attention, and by taking just a few extra minutes for them, you're helping them to achieve self-discipline, especially if actions like this are repeated over time. Plus, your ability to maintain control when your child cannot provides a backstop for them. They'll regard you as someone who can provide not only control but security, and it will help them tremendously as they are growing up.

The end result will be evident over time. If you can maintain patience at times when your child's behavior is out of control or when they just can't make it through math, no matter how hard you try to help, you'll see steady improvements over time. The frequency, duration, and severity of the behavioral problems will diminish. It's not that you accept the inappropriate behaviors, but that you help your child learn control through patient understanding and demonstration of clearly beneficial behavior to your child.

If your ADD daughter decides that she wants to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a department store because she can't have something she wants, quietly take her outside to the car and make her stay there with you, until her temper quiets. Explain that other people are upset by that kind of behavior from others, and that it's not fair to them. Let her get her ya-yas out and then, perhaps, take her back inside with the added knowledge that her wants can't always be gratified and why that's not possible.

Parenting any child is a serious job and should be fulfilled with patience and love. Parenting is difficult in any situation. But fathers, who often in the workplace full-time or sharing custody of their children, may not be used to their child's day-to-day ADD behaviors, and may be frustrated when they appear. Quick solutions aren't the answer. Children with ADD need more care and a lot more patience. Good parenting includes the ability to watch a behavior and to deal with it lovingly, not with shouting or negative reinforcement. Fathers who have the ability to step back and reason the ADD appropriate course of action before reacting negatively will probably have the best relationships with their children and the best end results

"That" and "there" aren't great indicators. I mean, if you're looking a your heap of a desk and you ask someone to hand you something "over there," while pointing to huge stacks of books and papers, they're bound to become confused. Whereas, if you say, "on the right-hand side of the blotter, beside my computer mouse," the directions are a little easier to follow. You won't be frustrated because the other person can't find what you're asking for and they won't be frustrated because they know where to look.

ADD does that to us. It makes our communication skills a bit lax. What we see as perfectly clear may come across to others as quite vague, and it's frustrating on both sides of the issue. But when it really can cause problems is in the workplace. If you have employees or you're any kind of supervisor, you need to clearly present tasks that need accomplishing. Otherwise, you'll find that what you expected is not going to be the right result. When giving instructions, ask the other person to repeat the instructions, until you're both happy that they're 100% clear.

For instance, if you want a report done in a spreadsheet because you plan to incorporate it into something else you're doing, but neglect to tell the person that you want the report in a spreadsheet, he or she may go off and prepare it in a word processor. When they bring it back to you, you have to ask that it be done over again. Generally, this is no huge deal, but what if you're in a hurry? Or, what if it is something that's hard to do? The person you recruited will be very upset that they have to go to extra lengths to complete the project the way you wanted it to be done, but neglected to mention.

Before explaining something like this, sit down and make a mind map of exactly what it is that you want. Putting things on paper will make it clearer for you, and if you can do it in writing, you'll help to solve the ADD miscommunication gap.

ADD presents some hurdles that we're on our own with, but other ADD issues involve other people. Communication is all about the other people in our lives. Work at being more clear and be sure to write things down that you intend to delegate. Not only will this stop frustration, but anger and argument, as well. ADD usually likes the shortcut, but when it comes to communications, we need to take the longer route.

There are ways to make this kind of spending stop.

First, never use credit cards because they will destroy you. If you have them, take a big pair of scissors and just cut them up. Get rid of them! They're the easiest way to get the things you want, but they were never intended to be used for small purchases.

Credit cards are emergency money, like if your water heater blows up and you have to have a new one right away. Or, if you need to go to the dentist and don't have adequate dental coverage. These are the types of emergencies that you pay for with credit cards, and then you put them away again, until the balance is paid off. Keep one credit card for this purpose, but lock it away in a safe deposit box at the bank, so that it's not easy to get to.

Next, don't carry large amounts of cash with you. That way, you can only spend what's in your pocket. If you're using a debit card, it will only work if you don't have access to all the money you have through it. Have a separate spending account and keep a very low balance. You'll be able to use that debit card only to the amount that's in your bank account, and won't be able to go overboard.

And if you can't do those things, you should consider that ADD isn't really the problem. You may also be OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), so check with your doctor. It may not be a situation that you can control.

ADD doesn't have to keep you in the poor house. Try the 7 bank account system of T. Harv Eker from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind and put money into accounts for necessities, taxes, gifting, education, long term savings, financial freedom, and play, whereby a portion of each income check you get goes into each account. If you can do that, you'll be having a certain amount of "play" cash every month that you can blow on whatever you want and not feel guilty at all. It's a really great place to start, especially when you're ADD.